Manic

I've been experiencing a high level of mommy guilt lately. If you're a mommy, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. If not, the basic idea is that it sucks. I'm working my a$$ off to go to school full-time, get nearly straight A's, work part-time at Meredith, write 3 freelance articles a month, run the kids to their activities two nights a week and still manage to breathe. I have been able to keep it up, for the most part, for half of the semester so far. But, and this is a big BUT...I feel like I've really lost touch with my girls because I don't have time to sit and ask them about their days. To make sure I ask them about homework enough times that they finally remember they have some. To be a mom. So, while I get a lot of praise for how much work I do and my good grades, I'm failing miserably at what matters most to me.

It sucks. I swear, if my kids screw up and don't go to college at a normal age and station in their lives, I'll....I'll....I'll say "hate to say I told you so," later when their whining on their blog about how hard it is. That'll teach 'em.

Another sad part is I've already resigned myself to the fact that there is no way in hell I'm going to get a 4.0 this semester. And I'm still being a sucky parent.

Talking to my husband about this is like telling the dog. He doesn't understand a word I'm saying. So, I'll just continue to cry about it here and hopefully just getting it out will help me feel better.

But I doubt it.