Impending Doom

I'm feeling the noose begin to tighten as I anticipate the beginning of the semester—next Tuesday. I struggled so much last fall to keep my sanity and accomplish all that was expected of me. I feel like I failed miserably on all fronts. My grades were not up to the standard I have set for myself. I didn't cook a meal for my family for four months. I missed a couple of freelance deadlines by a day, which makes me crazy.

And my daughter told me that she was getting used to her life sucking because I never have time to do anything for or with her. Ouch. That one hit hard. She felt bad for saying it afterward, but it wasn't her fault. I knew it was true. Otherwise it wouldn't have hurt so much.

The problem I face now is how to get through the next four months—and then another two after that—without losing both my sanity and my family. My husband keeps telling me it's only a little bit longer and it will all be over. (Only 178 days to go.) I know he's right. I will survive. My kids might even come through only needing a few years of psychotherapy to recover from mommy neglect. But right now the pressure is immense, and sometimes I can't breathe.

Sigh.